When Button and I are not having deep, analytical conversations about really super intellectual topics, we are usually telling each other stories about ridiculous and/or embarrassing things that have happened to us since we have last seen each other. You see, awkward and potentially shameful things happen to Button on a regular basis. That's right. I am not the only one. We like to have weekly lunches because it makes us feel good about ourselves and because our tales of misfortune would add up too quickly if we met only on, say, a bi-weekly basis. There is one story of Button's, in particular, that I love. If I'm feeling blue, I make Button tell me the story. When I introduce Button to new people, I usually make her tell them the story. Heck, I tell the story to strangers on the Internet. (That's you.)
Button was born with an outie belly button. Inconveniently, in the very center of her little distended navel was a small mole. Maybe it was simply a freckle. We should really refer to it as a freckle. The word "mole" triggers my gag reflex.
Everyone in Button's family had cute little innies. All her friends had cute little innies. When all these cute little innie buttoned friends turned 18, rebelled and got their navels pierced, Button wanted to do the same so she had the protruding center pierced straight through.
Button's unusual piercing made Button unique and she was proud of it. It was a conversation starter. It also helped hide the mole, er, I mean freckle.
|You might be surprised how many people DO want to see an interesting belly button.|
One day, about five years after Button got her navel pierced, it started to hurt. Button thought the pain would eventually subside so she waited a while. She felt a smidge silly going to the doctor because of belly button pain. Button's discomfort didn't go away so she eventually decided that a visit to the doctor was necessary.
Button was immediately taken into emergency surgery to fix her lifelong hernia, which had been swelling outwards from her navel cavity and stabbed with a decorative hoop.
Button is now the proud owner of a cute little innie belly button, sans mole freckle. She has allowed it to remain pierce free.