Sunday, February 5, 2012

That Awkward Moment When...

Awkward Moments That Have Probably Happened To You

1. That awkward moment when you realize that you are chewing on a borrowed pen. 

2.  That awkward moment when you go the wrong direction and you have to act like your forgot something so you can turn around without looking dumb.

3. That awkward moment when you loudly sing the wrong words to a song. 



4. That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and then walk in the same direction.

5. The awkward moment when you hold the door open for someone and they use the other door. 

  

6. That awkward moment when the cashier at the cinema tells you to enjoy your movie and you reply, "Thanks, you too!"

7. That awkward moment when you realize that no one is paying attention to your story, so you just continue to tell it to yourself. 



8. That awkward moment when you realize that you are not only peeing in your dream, but also in real life.

9. That awkward moment when your phone auto corrects what you have text into something extremely inappropriate.

This is not a text from my Father.  Father does not text and  Mother is not allergic to bees.
You can find more of these auto corrected texts here.



10. That awkward moment when you don't know if you should hug someone or not. 





Awkward Moments That Only Happen To Me


1.  That awkward moment when you are kissing your new Manfriend and then he mentions that he needs to "pop a Valtrex."


If started at the first sign of symptoms, taking two Valtrex a day can apparently shorten the duration of a cold sore.  On one's lips.  

2.  That awkward moment when you peer into a picture on the wall because you think it is a window. 

3.  The awkward moment when you fall asleep in the front row of class and when you wake up you realize you have drooled a large puddle on the desk which would require a towel to clean up, a towel which you do not have. 


4.  That awkward moment when you drop a flaming piece of broccoli down your shirt and receive a third degree broccoli shaped burn on your chest.

5.  That awkward moment when you realize that your dear friend is unaware of the fact that she is actually wearing her nude colored bra, rather than her swimsuit top, at a crowded pool, but you can't tell her because you have let her sit there in the pool with you for two hours already and she will kill you for not letting her know sooner.

She was not happy with me when she came back from the bathroom...

6.  That awkward moment when Manfriend's daughter, Cinderella, tells her father during a family event that he needs to marry you so you can have a big, pretty ring like all the other girls.  

7.  That awkward moment when you sit in between your parents at Brokeback Mountain because your Father heard it was a western and wanted to go.


8. That awkward moment when you find out that you are on a "date" with your neighbor who lives with his fiance.

9. That awkward moment when Manfriend doesn't tell you that you have a hole in the seat of your trousers during Christmas with the family.

Not telling me about said hole could be karma for #5.

10.  That awkward moment when you realize that not only did your strapless dress fall to your waist after you hugged the bride, but also that your exposure was captured forever in the wedding video.



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15 comments:

  1. Hahahahhaah these are all so true! I am SO sorry you had that brokeback mountain experience with your parents. So unfortunate.

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    Replies
    1. Unfortunate seems like the perfect word for the evening. My Father felt awkward around me for the rest of the day.

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  2. That awkward moment when you clean your plate in front of Manfriend and he's only eaten half of his?

    That awkward moment when you post a comment on someone's blog and realize you didn't bother to read their "about me":

    Hey, recovering alcoholic, you know what I want? A beer.
    Hey, stay at home mom, you know who's irritating? Moms.
    Hey, single teacher lady, you know who's dumb? You.

    That awkward moment when you realize you're going to be you forever and there's no getting away from that.

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    Replies
    1. I've decided to embrace the fact that I can't escape myself, as these awkward moments give me blog topics.

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    2. I would LOVE to read the blogs where you posted unintentionally insulting comments, by the way.... : )

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  3. I recall the moment of excessive drool in class..........geez, you were only sleeping for a moment, who would have thought you could produce so much saliva.....Haha. Only erica!

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    Replies
    1. It wasn't my fault. I had restless leg syndrome. I didn't reach full REM!

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  4. Ok, can we be BFF's now? I am so happy you found my blog so I could find your blog, because... It isn't often that I read a blog where I am giggling and squirming uncomfortably at the same time.

    I love you. In a totally non-creepy blog friend way, not in a "I want to wear your head for a hat" way.

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    Replies
    1. We can totally be BFF's. In fact, the fact that you said "not in a I want to wear your head for a hat way" makes me sort of want to let you wear my head for a hat. I am that tickled by it. Oh shoot. Now, I have taken our new friendship to a creepy level. I apologize. Can we start over?

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    2. The fact that both of you want to be BFFs with each other makes me want to BFFs with both of you ;) Becoming BFFs with random people is my favorite thing!

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  5. Every so often i return to read something of yours I've not previously read. You're great.

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  6. I seriously think I wet myself while reading this! Zeke was sleeping soundly on my lap but now he doesn't appear to be so comfortable,LOL You're awesome! I'm sad for the day that you will no longer be my neighbor :-( We haven't gone on enough walks yet! *sniffle*

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  7. Oh my...you poor thing!!! O.o

    I would die if my cleavage was captured in the wedding video forever!

    This post made me have a laughter attack! So glad I ran across you blog today!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!! :)

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  8. That akward when you text a freind and he/she says: "dammit just when i felle asleep." So sorry for my terible english! very good blog!

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